Cheap Healthy Good: Cutting Calories and Saving D'oh: 25 Lessons "The Simpsons" Taught Me About Cheap, Healthy Eating

My fav is "Can't talk, eating". But I have discovered the secret to skinny girls. They don't have stomachs and since they don't have stomachs they don't eat, hence they stay skinny.

The Big News and Other Things That Are Going On

Is it hot or is it just another one of those flashes again? I'm not sure if staying home is any cooler than going to the Pride Parade today. That's right, I am staying home for the first time in almost 18 years of going to Seattle Pride. My downfall? I started building a new website on Saturday morning and I finally finished it this afternoon ."It's ALIVE!!!!" But there is more to do still. I will probably have to expand it in the near future when money allows, it looks like I will need more space for the things that I plan on doing to it. But for a short time I will continue to update both of the blog sites along with the new website.
On other news fronts, I am still pursuing the identification issue. I will be talking to a spokesperson from the Department of Health in Washington DC sometime this week about the variance in policies and laws. I also plan on trying to get in touch with someone here in the Washington State Department of Health to ask the same questions of them.
I was reading the newspaper (Tacoma News Tribune) on Friday and there an article on page A4 about Transgendered makes US History: The story is about Congress holding its first hearings on discrimination against transgender workers. The article is well written and fairly balanced about the issue. BUT, as usual, there are those that are opposed to any kind of protections for us, much less our very existence. Of all the logic that they have to show for why it should not be allowed was based on religious beliefs and that "forcing" the idea as a valid concept was "like forcing an Orthodox Jew to eat pork", the article also said that "employers would have difficulty in enforcing dress codes and assuring privacy". The quote that this "attorney" used that really got me upset was that "gender identity was totally subjective, who could challenge any male who says he wants to use the women's restroom?" It is hard to believe anyone who is educated in today's' society can be so utterly out of touch with reality. But then again, Dori Monson often says some pretty outrageous things on his talk show about transgenders whenever the topic comes up and there are times that I even agree with him on many other issues except for this one.
The thing is that just getting to the point of having hearings in Congress is further that many of us Transgenders ever expected to see in our own lifetimes. Now if we can just have something positive come out of this opportunity, like job, medical and housing protections, maybe like getting the laws to match nationwide so we can feel safe to move about or even travel around the country just like regular people can and do.
I know that this is going to go against my philosophy of everyone is entitled to their opinion, but sometimes when a duck quacks, it is a duck. So, As to the idiots (I'm not sorry for calling them that) who can't see past their genital shortcomings, get a life.
I could care less about what the other women in the restroom are doing or even what is going on as long as it doesn't threaten my life and I can go potty. If but, by some off the wall chance that some "man" does go in there and does something harmful or illegal, under any kind of guise, there are laws that can be used to deal with the situation. Throw his sick butt in prison like any other criminal, but don't punish transgenders with this kind of crap logic just because you can't cope with people who are different from you. Remember I said that this would sound contradictory to my everyone has an opinion philosophy, but I also said that I was ok with that until they threaten my survival, these hearings are at a federal level, Washington State has such laws that do protect my right to exist and now they are working to make those laws work for us nationally, but these people are trying to prevent that from happening and that threatens my existence as a transgendered person. And as an American who has the right to choose my own destiny I will not allow bigots and the closed minded or the misinformed to deny me the same opportunities and rights to exist that anyone else has.
I got the best surprise on Friday night. I friend that I hadn't seen in quite a while
(I have to digress for a minute, When I met this lady for the first time there was just something about her that told me she was very cool with people just being themselves. So I walked up to her an introduced myself as the "resident fag", I thought she was going to choke to death she was laughing so hard, from that day on she called me Aunt Stevie and she has always treated me with respect and kindness).( And I have to send a huge shout of THANKS to my BFF CariBear for telling her to stop by to see me).
Anyway, she showed up just as I got off work. She walked around the corner and I just about threw everything I had in the air so I could give her a hug. It was funny, here I was, arms full, and so damned excited at seeing her again. I was dancing around like a little girl who just got told that she was going to get her first pony. By the time I was able to put everything down she was laughing so hard it hurt. Hmmmm seems to be a pattern here, but oh well, so be it.
We talked for an hour after work, the surprise of my transition and amazement at my progress were just two of the things that we talked about, and she kept saying how happy for me she was, but the support and acceptance that she has always shown me speaks of the type of person that I've known her to be all along.
She asked how it had been going at work as far as others and their acceptance of Stephanie, I honestly told her that is was very surprising at how well it has gone. I told her how there had been some very minor things that happened but overall it has gone pretty good. She asked me, So what happens when something does happen? How do you handle it? I told as I usually do, Her reaction was great. The look of "oh crap", was priceless. I told her about a lady that walked by me and rolled her eyes and tried to suppress a smirk and I told her about whispering to the lady "Its ok, I scare me too" it left her standing there beet red. But, the next time I saw her she waved hello to me.
Then, we started to talk about my writing, again she was surprised because she knows that I am a advocate when it comes to LGBT issues, but didn't have a clue that I could put two words together much less actually write something down. JUST KIDDING! But she was surprised and very proud that I have come this far along in my new life in such a short time.
So, You know who you are, just don't be a stranger and answer your phone once in awhile.
Copyright Stephanie Snowden 2008
All Rights Reserved

Identity and Identification, They Aren't the Same

Identity and Identification, They Aren't the Same sounds like a simple thing and most people would understand it from the very beginning. But stop and think about, when someone identifies as this or that it is not the same as who they are identified as. In my case I am identified as Stephanie and I identify as a transgendered woman. The issue for me is that even though my drivers' license and my social security card identify me as such, my birth certificate says I am someone else. When it comes to traveling, especially across borders, but even to other states can be tasking enough for a non-transgendered person. Add in being transgendered and then it becomes even a bigger issue because of the legalities that can be involved, various laws, if any from locale to locale in the protections or anti-discrimination laws for Lesbian / Gay / Bisexual / Transgender (LGBT) people.
In a discussion this weekend about traveling outside of the US as a transgendered person it was assumed that we could travel without any problems just as everyone else can. The comment was that driving back from Canada all you had to do was show them your Drivers License and Birth Certificate. While this is true except for when your name on your drivers' license and the name on your birth certificate do not match. You will be stopped and asked to pull into an inspection lane for further questioning and inspection under Homeland Security policy. From that point on all kinds of situations can arise and I am pretty sure many of them would be uncomfortable for the person being detained until they could prove that they are who they say they are. Nowhere on the Homeland Security and Customs websites did I find any mention about how they are supposed to handle this type of situation. I will continue to seek out the answer.
Identification is usually the biggest issue right along with safety. If a person is presenting as one gender, but their identification still shows as them as the opposite gender there can be problems depending on the locale, the laws if any, level of acceptance and understanding with the individuals involved. This is very often a major concern and even more so in the early stages of transition, it is not only confusing for others, but frustrating and also very threatening because of the fear that it generates within the transitioning person.
Back on January 31, 2008, U.S. and Canadian citizens 19 years and older who enter the U.S. at land and sea ports of entry from within the Western Hemisphere are required to present government-issued photo ID, such as a driver’s license as proof of identity, along with proof of citizenship, such as a birth certificate or naturalization certificate, or a passport. Children age 18 and under will be able to enter with proof of citizenship. Verbal claims of citizenship and identity alone will not be sufficient to establish identity and citizenship for entry into the United States.
One website that I used as part of my research for this article even goes as far as to say "Identification papers such as a passport or birth certificate are recommended." "You also may be asked to show a return air ticket or proof of sufficient funds. Know the rules and make sure your appearance is not cause for suspicion (probably not a good day to be wearing your "legalize marijuana" t-shirt!)."" Customs inspectors do have the power to ruin a vacation. If you come under strong scrutiny for any reason, answer questions directly and politely. Tempting though it may be, wise-cracking and rudeness will only be to your own detriment."
A check that I did on just how and how many states will change someone's birth certificate if they are transgendered showed me that many will but again it is hit and miss according to individual state laws and I wasn't able to find any information on how to get a passport without having a birth certificate. I am sure that all of this information is available somewhere, but one thing for sure there isn't any one single source for it.
Also, another issue is that in Washington State they will amend your drivers' license to reflect your new gender pre-surgery with having the proper documentation from your medical doctor, but your birth certificate cannot be changed until post surgery.
In my particular case, I was born in Washington DC and their laws are fairly the same. I have to have a letter from my surgeon stating that they had preformed Genital Reconstructive Surgery or GRS on me and only then will the Health Department change my birth certificate.
It leaves me wondering just how I am supposed to get my passport so I can travel to Canada or Thailand so I can have my surgery. If you have been through this as a Transgendered person, I would really like to talk to you so I can get more information as to how this can be done.
Another critical part of this is that not all transgenders have GRS. Due to whatever their circumstances may be they remain the same "birth gender" but transition to that point where the only thing left is for them to have GRS. Today, almost half of the population in the United States live in an area where there is some form of legal protection for transgendered people, That is up from about 4 percent of the nation in 2001, In addition to the 13 states, more than 100 jurisdictions, including the District of Columbia, have added a transgender provision to their antidiscrimination laws, yet the laws and/or governmental policies very often either conflict with each other or they don't exist as of yet.
Go Northwest is an information website about cross border travel at http://www.gonorthwest.com/Visitor/planning/border/border.htm or visit the Homeland Security Website at http://www.dhs.gov/xtrvlsec/crossingborders/ for more information on international travel requirements. (All Rights Reserved)

Coping and dealing with the slings and arrows

In this weekend's article I cited an example of a comment that had been made to me by another. I wrote "The first by a guy I've known for quite awhile and has been quite the sparing verbalist in the past came up and in our conversation made a comment about my thinning hair and that instead of paying for augmentation (which has never been any part of any conversation that I have ever had with him) that I should spend the money on a hair transplant.
It made me wonder just how accepting someone really is. The damage that this causes is that I will never quite trust him quite as much anymore. I would like to think knowing him, that he intended it to be a joke."
One of things is that if I were to turn something like this in as a violation it would create a situation of distrust on others part about me. There would be a concern that if they said something to me even off hand, without malice or even factual and I ran off to HR every time I was offended, then I would find myself with very few friends. As I have said often that I have to be very aware of where that line is and what to do about it and like many things in life not everything is as black and white as we would like to think it is.
Yesterday I had a talk with him and yes it was a bad joke on his part and he apologized and had hadn't thought as he spoke, especially now that things are different now.

I also wrote, "That the whole thing that gets me is that if this is in the work place it is considered taboo to talk about others in these kinds of ways, but as human beings we do it even though there is always the risk of being reported to HR or management. Then there is the whole new can of worms to be opened if something is reported to management."
The reactions I received were from talk to him to turn him in and as I said I talked to him first to find out if it was just that a slip of the tongue or something more and like I said he apologized and said that he is still working at seeing the difference between the new me and the old me.
So what does this indicate to me? Well, first off it says that we still consider ourselves as being friends and that on his part he is trying and that he will work on being more aware of the fact that things are different now. So even though he had crossed a line according to policy I'm glad that I talked to the person first and give them a 2nd chance.
There is very good reason for doing it this way. As a transgender you are pretty much under the microscope with people even though you may not think so, they are going to still have their opinions about it and you. So it is very important to be aware of this and to be a little more forgiving than usual especially in the early stages of coming out at work. It doesn't mean to let others just walk all over your feelings, just as anyone shouldn't let that happen, but have a little more patience than usual, especially in the beginning.
And to those folks that see and deal with the transgendered person it is important to remember that we are our own harshest critics about what we look like and it isn't necessary to be pointing out something that is obvious to us already even if it is just being honest. (All Rights Reserved)

Why is it that women forget how to be girls? And how about daily coping with transition?

June 14th, 2008

When I started this article it was my intent to ask a simple question and answer it with what I do as a girl or woman. But then circumstances gave me an opportunity to show both sides of the coin as what it can be like to be in transition and how daily coping skills are a very important part in this life.
I woke once again having not magically changed overnight into the physical woman that I long to be. But, I am being told that I am well on my way. My girlfriends tell me I look great and that I am beautiful, which I very much appreciate. I am being accepted into the world of womanhood as I have always dreamed of, so that part of my dream is coming true for me. I bumped into my doctor the other day and she said that I was looking very happy and healthy.
But there is another part of being a woman that I rarely see in the women that I either know through work or deal with as a person in the public world. That seems to be that they forget how to be girls. I know that everyday life takes its toll, with family, boyfriends or husbands, work life and so on it is easy to forget what it was like to just have some fun with your everyday self. Some of us girls were talking about this the other day and one said that it was because men and family sent the message to grow up from early on. Another girl said that she does still do things like play Barbie with her daughters and that they have "slumber parties" together, that is great to do but that isn't quite what I'm talking about here. For example, I get a lot of compliments on my nails. Some would probably think I go to the nail salon everyday and that may happen eventually since it only costs about $5.00 to change your colors, but I don't I just take the time and frustration of doing them myself most of the time. Hmmmm, reduced frustration and being pampered a little, maybe I will start doing that.
The thing is that I have fun with them; I change colors often to kind of match whatever colors that I am wearing that day or if my mood suits me to change the color. I will also mix colors on my nails just to get something very different, like today I have a bright red metal flake base with a deeper red metal flake tips. I know I would be doing something different with my hair if I could, but that’s a whole nightmare on its own, so I won't go there.
My makeup is another area of fun, not only is it to make my appearance look better, but I go as far as mixing different shades for different effects, I will also use different tones of blushes and eye shadows that will compliment my intended look.
One time just after I came out I had a woman at work approach me and whispered that my shade of makeup was to dark for my skin tone. I whispered back "I know, but I don't play by the rules" The look I got was priceless, she was at first shocked but then realized that the rules are meant to be stretched if not broken. It is OK to be different and to have some fun with things and that there are practical times to change up things to be a little or even more dramatic and that is what I am saying about being a girl and not just a woman. Have fun with things like you used to do when you were in your teens. I am not saying this as if in trying to be someone you're not (like a 50 year old acting like a 15 year old), but as woman with history and time on her side who knows what it is like to be a girl too. I have noticed a few "girls" at work that have picked up on this and have started to let out the inner girl once again and it is fun to see and another thing that I've observed is that the guys notice too, believe it or not, but some of them actually do notice.
I was having a conversation with a co-worker one day this week and at some point the question came up about the stages of transition, I hadn't realized that there were any but I guess in this context there could be, let's see? Questioning of gender for however long stage, then the counseling phase, the acceptance phase, the starting out phase (this part is one of the most difficult for many, because even though the desire has always been there. the learning and opportunities have been missing), next is the coming out stage (just as difficult and probably the most frightening stage, then the puberty stage (which is where I think I am right now) where things are changing and reactions can be all over the place, and then the final stage where everything is done and you are the woman that you should have been to begin with.
Anyway, she asked the question about my development and if I planned on having augmentation done. I said no, although I honestly have thought about it, but my doctor said that I may want to wait for a couple years or until after I have had any surgeries because I will more than likely develop more between now and after having my surgery, there is normally even more development because the body chemistry changes even more drastically, kind of like being in puberty and developing at your own natural pace. That makes sense to me because if I did get it done to the size I would like to be and then developed even more and got bigger, then I would be faced with getting things reduced. So the practical side of me says why pay for it twice.
But the question in itself to me said that I have reached an acceptance point with this person as being a woman. It was the type of conversation that two women would have, without any judgmental thoughts going on about motives. Even though the question would normally be considered as being very private, it also at that time made me feel very special in that I was being accepted as a person that I had dreamed of and desired to be as long as I could remember.
So with all that being said, Remember girls, have some fun, be yourself and try to not let the world dictate what you should be doing or how you should look every minute of the day.

Yesterday was Friday the 13th and of course something is bound to happen to me, it never fails and it did. I’m just not sure how I should be feeling about it though. These are fairly good examples of what things can be like when one is in transition. My first example is that a woman I know at work came up to me and said that she had liked the way I had worn my hair the other day, she thought it looked good on me, cool compliment, THANK YOU..
But then example two goes to the opposite side of the scale with an guy I've known for quite awhile and has been quite the sparing verbalist in the past came up and in our conversation made a comment about my thinning hair and that instead of paying for augmentation (which has never been any part of any conversation that I have ever had with him) that I should spend the money on a hair transplant. I was shocked but responded quickly with a comment of some type that basically said bring it on and told him that I already had one of the best in the country on it. Anyway, it was over the line and uncalled for. It also makes me wonder just how accepting someone really is. The damage that this causes is that I will never quite trust him quite as much anymore. I would like to think knowing him, that he intended it to be a joke, although a bad joke, but it is too late, the damage is done, I will see him in a different light from now on.
A third example is being questioned about the voice, almost daily someone will ask me about my voice. I do not have a deep voice to begin with but it isn't as higher pitched as most women's voices are either. In fact since I started my transition my voice has changed some and now registers in a higher pitch than it used to. The thing is that first off I will not have vocal surgery because of the risk that it won't work to begin with, (the odds are 50/50 if it does work for most people) and secondly, the costs vs the benefit aren't worth it to me. So that leaves using a "voice coach" and learning to talk in the same tones and rhythm that women do. But why, to me it is not being my true self and I figure I'd rather be myself opposed to being someone I'm not and as I just mentioned my HRT seems to be helping in that area also, so why not wait it out and see how much it does change on its own. It isn't necessary to be pointing out something that is obvious to the person already, so why do it.
I can tell you as a transgender we are the harshest critics of ourselves that anyone could ever be. We have picked every little detail out about ourselves that you can think of and may have even blown it out of portion, but we are very aware of our flaws and the things that we want to change that will help us become the women that we should be and to have them "pointed out" is not only rude, but it is also crosses the line when it comes to the acceptance of that person, it really is no different than saying you look like a "guy in a dress", which is cruel and demeaning to the person.
The best example of how offensive that these kind of things can be can be is the comparison of using the term "she_male" as being the same as using the "N" word to a black person. A transgender is by no means a "she_male" which is term coined by the porn industry and as a topic can be an article at some point in its own right. But for right now believe me it is wrong and shouldn't be tolerated by anyone just as the simple pointing out of flaws that are considered as being male. We are very aware of these flaws and do not need to be reminded.
I am also enough of a realist to know that people talk, it is human nature to do so. I'm also pretty sure that in those conversations that may be about me there are comments made that I would find offensive if said to my face. What I wonder about at times is if I am defended when those kind of remarks are made by someone. I know that a couple of my BFF's have flat out told others that it was a uncalled for remark or told them not to speak ill about me in front of them and those that do will face their wrath.
The whole thing that gets me is that if this is in the work place it is considered taboo to talk about others in these kinds of ways, but as human beings we do it even though there is always the risk of being reported to HR or management. Then there is the whole new can of worms to be opened if something is reported to management, Unfortunately, I've noticed that often the reactions of management is to downplay the situation or offense, is this due to their own discomfort with the person or situation, is it due to a lack of training on how to response to these situations, I'm not sure which one it may be, maybe both, but it happens way too often.
I am aware that to make a accusation is not something to be done lightly. Accusing someone of crossing the line is serious stuff and it can not only cost them, but it also puts the transgender even more so in the spotlight in a negative way. Would I report someone who crosses the line as far as my transition, Yes, I would, without hesitation, but over every little thing, never.
To go through this, not only is the therapy that you undergo about discovering if you do have GID and what to do about it, but a big part of it is also about how you will cope with these types of issues when they do arise if you do decide to transition.
I feel that I have very strong coping skills, after all here I am living as a openly transgendered woman who is writing about this whole experience. I feel that I can deal with the slings and arrows of daily life, but I am also still a human being who does have feelings and sometimes those arrows penetrate just a little deeper than other times.
It is important to remember regardless of who the person is that they have feelings just as you do and what you say or how you treat them will have a very direct impact on how they view themselves but also how they will view you as a person. (All Rights Reserved)

What about family and friends? How does one deal with that

The other morning a question was posed to me that did get me to thinking about my transition in terms that I hadn't thought about lately and I appreciate the question because it is important to remember.
It was about my last blog and it did indeed bring up more questions. The answers there are from my perspective and experiences.
That question was, Is it always so easy to transition from one gender to another?
I have to say no, it is not easy at all for anyone to transition from one gender to another, you just know that it is something that is driving you and that you do need to do. Some people know from the time that they are little kids and constantly fight to be that person regardless of what anyone else says. But the large majority of people struggle and deny this fact about themselves for years before reaching a point where it overshadows just about everything in their lives.
This of course does have its own effect as far as how your life may have been different, but an even more costly effect is that on the family members, especially if the transgender has been in denial for years.
It is extremely important to remember that to family and even close friends this is in a sense very much like a death to them. They will experience very much all of the same emotions that one suffers with such a lost. This is the same as being the lost of a parent, sibling or friend. There will be denial, anger, loss, and hopefully acceptance at some level. Hopefully there will be acceptance early on, but one does need to be understanding if it doesn't happen overnight. So another part of this process is patience on the transitioning persons' part. It is very important to be honest as possible without trying to dictate how they should be blindly accepting of you, whenever you are dealing with those individuals. They are entitled to their emotions and need that time to adjust and go through those stages.
For the sake of being able to answer the question as fully as I can, I am going to get very personal at this time. One of my biggest fears is the idea of losing my son, his wife and my granddaughter over my need to transition. Some of my greatest and happiest moments in my life are around these three people. Every moment of the birth of my son has been etched into my mind and heart, nothing can ever replace that. Then the birth of my granddaughter came along and pushed itself in next to his birth. So now there are two memories that I will never lose. When he introduced me to his then girlfriend and now wife I was overjoyed for him and my granddaughter. This woman that he married was the blessing that I had hoped for him for so long. She is a wonderful and strong woman that has worked alongside of him in raising a beautiful young lady and now that special place has three much cherished memories. With the announcement that a second grandchild is on the way there will be four moments in my life that cannot be replaced by anything.
This has all happened despite my own failings as parent. It is very hard for a child of anyone to feel any consistency when they have a parent who is constantly being pulled by a inner drive that they don't even understand and suddenly years later comes the shock that in a sense that their parent isn't who they thought they were. The only emotions that I can remotely come up with for someone who is not a transgender is the one if they were adopted and never told until years later and I don't know if that would be enough of a shock to match the shock one feels when someone tells their family that they are about to change their gender.
In my case I constantly fluctuated back and forth between genders that whole time but under the guise of being gay, because that was the way I had interpreted my GID, not knowing that it was something completely different. I pretty much hid my need to be a female knowing that it was just something that I wanted but I also had responsibilities and couldn't be because I was born in this body that said I wasn't a female.
I was also very careful not to "put it in his face" but be respectful of him and his friends so I wouldn't embarrass him too much. I know that this does sound like an excuse but it is not.
It was the reality that I and because he is my son we both had to deal with. The behaviors that grew out of the denial vs need were very destructive and he as well as I both paid a price.
The fact that he has turned out to be such a good man with a family that most would envy speaks volumes of the human ability to persevere thru adversity. But now that I have fully started my transition a whole new set issues arise and need to be addressed, like I said this is very much like a death and time is the only thing that can heal the wounds that this can cause. It would be absolutely wonderful if there was total acceptance from the very first moment but people process things differently and at different rates. Also in this case because of my granddaughters' age that needs to be taken into consideration. How much would she understand about her grandpa changing like this.
In no way would I ever expect or require them to call me mom or grandma. To my thinking this would be so very disrespectful to not only those individuals, but also to my son his wife and my granddaughter.
So what do they call me? Even though I am different now I will still always be dad or grandpa to these people and in all fairness I cannot take that away from them, especially if I desire to continue my relationship with them.
If they determine that they need to address me by my new name and there will be times that it may be necessary, that will also be ok with me. I think that it would be appropriate when in public settings. It would respectful to me to do so under those circumstances.
The fact that they do acknowledge my change and are as being as supportive as they can be given the circumstances, that is really all I can ask for at this time. I need to let them have their grief or feelings of confusion and lost and come to their own level of acceptance.
Does this make it any easier? Of course not, transition is one of the most difficult and dangerous decisions that a person can make in their lives. The possibility of loss is so great that there are many who do not even try, but for those few that do, it is because the drive is so strong to have their mind and body match that they are willing to risk everything. I have often said that "This is not something that you wake one morning and do on a whim." To not recognize its effect on others is very selfish and self-centered.
This very thought has been pointed out to me often by one person who is not as supportive as I had hoped or thought would be. In fact, they have refused to acknowledge certain portions my transition and at times it seems that they go out of their way to point out certain things to me. This behavior is not acceptable and very disrespectful, although they claim to be a very honest and respectful individual. Again I think a large part of this is their lashing out at something that they do not understand or are in denial that it is real and it being a part of that grieving process,
There is one more emotion that I have not talked about that is a very large part of this and that is the feelings of betrayal that can manifest. The people around you can very much feel that they have been betrayed by you when you start transition. Think about it, here are people that have known this one person for years and then suddenly that person is not who they say they are, they may still look the same for the most part but they have also changed and expect you to catch up to them now. My therapist explained this as being one of those situations where as a transgender, you have been this one person inside of themselves for years and now that she is finally allowed to come out there is an unrealistic expectation that everyone else has to catch up and recognize this new person over night. One thing that is important to recognize is that this is not a thing of being dishonest with those around you, but it does create feelings that are very similar to those of being lied to and betrayed. Just remember the transgender has been pretty much lying to themselves for a lot longer time.
So everyone is different and every situation is unique to the people involved, but being respectful and mindful of the uniqueness of each situation will very often help ease the pain.
(All Rights Reserved)

Deep Thoughts on a Sunday Morning

I very aware that my writings are not really anything new, I can pretty safely say that thousands of transgenders before me have done the same thing. They found their voice and spoke their beliefs. This just happens to be from my perspective and history. I am not trying to say that my way is any better than someone else's way, it is just that, my way of seeing things.
I do hold hope that those that do read these articles come away with even just a little bit of a different view on this issue. If I should just happen to open their eyes a bit then it is well worth the effort.
Why is it that people have such strong reactions about transgenders? Are those feelings based in religion, psychology or just simply the fear of the unknown? How is it that someone can judge another when they don't know that person? Or in many cases such as families, relationships, or workplaces, think that they know that person.
As a transgender am I such a threat to you as a person? If you knew me before I started transition was I a threat to you then? Are their reasons because they think it is wrong to change God's design? Or is it because of their own subconscious fears about sexuality and gender?
All of these questions have been debated and argued over since the first person said that they needed to change their gender and there are no shortages on opinions for and against being transgendered. Even today as they prepare to redefine the DVM definition on Gender Identity Disorder there is debate, anger, and even dismay over the selections that were made to panel the committee on this topic. There has been a massive outcry over the choices and there has been finger pointing and accusations of people having agendas in defense or against transgenders. These are the experts that are supposedly able to determine the best course for the medical world to be able to help individuals deal with, adjust to and to be treated for their being transgendered.
Regardless if it is politics, religion or psychology the fact remains that transgenders exist and have been around since the earliest stages of our development as a species. There are tons of writings on this subject in justification and denial, but to the transgendered person it is the most base question of all, why do you not understand? I am who I am and why can't you just accept that?
I know that as an individual I am not a threat to anyone. Definitely not a physical threat anyway, but then I do have the same survival instincts that we all have. What I am about to say next is what every transgender will tell you, I can almost guarantee that this statement is 100% accurate because I know that it is for me.
"I know that I am emotionally a much happier person now and that I feel very much more in tune with my physical and mental being than I did before I started transitioning." Emotionally there were times that I wavered because of many of those same questions that I asked above, but instinctively I knew that this was the right course for me to take. I have been accused of just saying that to justify my own transition. It really surprised me that someone who doesn't even know me as a person would make such a statement. Just as I don't know them or their history as a person how can they even remotely know me or my history as a person? And make such a blanket statement.
Much of that is why we go through such intensive mental and gender health counseling prior to starting any transition. I honestly feel very sorry for those that are denied the needed help or avoid such efforts and then go about transitioning without professional help. I can speak about this because I too started out on this very course in my own beginning, but I was fortunate enough to have someone, although not happy with my need to transition, that insisted that I do so with proper guidance and help. My choice at that time was to listen to those on the internet and to obtain my medications (Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT) for transition from whatever sources I could find. I know that there are those that are successful in their own transition this way, but at what costs and risks? I also know that there are those out there who aren't as successful and lose their battles with their need to transition. The suicide rate for transgenders is one of the highest in society. Mainly because of the associated mental health and the societal issues that are involved. I think often it is a combination of those two factors along with just giving up because of society's lack of acceptance. The desperate struggle to just survive as a transgender leads many individuals to live and do things that are not acceptable or even in some cases legal and this in itself becomes just as destructive as anything else can be.
On a positive note though there is change and things are better than they were even 5 years ago. There more services available than in the past and the laws that protect individual rights are slowly changing, but the biggest change of all is that society is also changing. It is becoming more understanding and accepting of people that are different. A lot of that has to do with the invent of the internet, improvement of communications via the media resources and with the work of various organizations that endeavor to see that people are treated fairly. As our population grows older they have less time to "worry" about what others are doing, their focus is usually more on their own issues. While the younger generations have grown accustomed to seeing or even having experimented with crossing genders and mixing gender sexuality within their own personalities, they are much more used to and accepting of the differences.
It is generally those that have some agenda of whatever their philosophy is based upon, usually religious or political, but even scarier, it being based on their knowing what is best for everyone else. I have never been able to figure out, why would someone's politics have any bearing on what someone's gender or sexual orientation was. Unless it was just to suppress those individuals as a gender or race or whatever, which we have seen in our history as a nation and even as a species.
With the religious aspect of denial, I believe that it is not their place to judge anyone else, especially since their own "bibles" and "teachings" tells them that it is wrong to judge others and that it is their lord's job to sit in judgment. It is ironic that they fall within the same category of those with their own personal agendas and knowing what is best for society. It is between the power that the individual believes in and the person themselves if it is the right thing for them to be doing.
These are very much some of the reasons for the philosophy that I have developed over the last few years, even before I started down this path of self-discovery. The realization of those opinions, along with self-awareness and the actions of others within society have had a huge effect on my own personality. I very strongly believe that everyone has an opinion about transgenders just as they have opinions about politics and religion. I also believe that they are entitled to their opinion just as I am to mine. I can accept that those opinions may or may not be the same and on a whole I am comfortable with that, it isn't going to affect my life very much in the long run.
The big difference is when it comes to suppressing that opinion, I have no right to suppress their opinion and I expect that they respect my right to my opinion and need to express it. In this situation as a transgender the expression comes in the form of transitioning from one gender to another. The problem then lies in that their attempt to suppress my transition directly affects my very life and survival, it is then that they have crossed that line of survival.
So, of course I will then look at them in a more cautioned, suspicious way and because of this, it becomes more of a challenge to be accepting, trusting and respectful of them as individuals. Unless it is blatant outright disrespectful, threatening or harmful treatment of me, I can even work alongside an individual without any problems. It is a matter of respecting that they have an opinion about something different from your own. I have found that it is usually the other person that has a harder time in dealing with that philosophy than I do.
I'm not sure, but sometimes I think that difficulty comes from suddenly feeling guilty because they had this "dislike" for someone that they didn't even know to begin with or for something that they didn't understand and that makes them even more nervous or un-accepting. And that I think fear of the unknown or misunderstood is the basis of almost all reactions that we as humans base our prejudices on. I am also enough of a to realist to know that there are times and situations where those fears need to be listened too and acted on. That is a direct holdover from our earliest days as a species and our survival instincts.
So, what is my own goal? Just be myself, become the woman that I was supposed to be to begin with, hopefully leave the place a little neater than I found it, have some laughs and good times with those that I love and care about along the way. Gee, doesn't that sound like just about everyone else on this planet. Just maybe this will catch on, do you think it will? See more questions, they never end.
It's just a matter of not getting so caught up in things that you lose sight of what is important in life. Self, Family, Love, Home and Friends. (All Rights Reserved)

What does it mean when someone says that they are a transsexual or a transgendered person?

Sounds like a pretty simple question, but once you start going deeper you begin to get a picture of a very much larger issue that we must deal with in our lives than just the fact that we are either male or female. I was reading a letter written by a transgendered woman posted on the internet one day and as usual it made me think about my own experiences so far. I gathered some of her comments to share because they are so very true for so many who are transgendered or are in transition.
She wrote, "Yes, at times I have overwhelming thoughts that this place that I am at may not be the safest place. My thoughts also turn to the fact that I am not done traveling and seeing the world. There was a time in my life when I would at the drop of a hat catch the next plane flying. I have had some pretty cool adventures. Sometimes the thought of that really scares me now. Where in this world are people like us safe? Is there any place more inherently dangerous? What about hanging out at motorcycle events with a bunch of 1%'ers? Can be safe can be dangerous. There are place even there in Tacoma or Seattle that make the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Sometimes we stress and worry over a lot of things that turn out to be nothing."
I too have faced many of those very same fears as much as I try to live my everyday life as normally as possible. I too find myself at odds over many of the same issues that she points out. It is her last sentence that has the greatest impact, but what if that nothing turns out to be someone who doesn't like us just because we are different. A couple things come to mind, like the California incident of the 15 year old boy shooting his 14 year old classmate in school because he was different, I'm sure that he didn't think anything like that was going to happen to him at school that day. Or the Matthew Sheppard incident in Colorado a few years ago that sparked a massive out pouring from people.
Of course our society has changed in both positive and negative ways. Even as we go about our daily lives regardless of gender, race or anything else we need to be more aware of what goes on around us.
The problem being for a transgendered person is that what most people take for granted, we usually have to use additional care in that we don't end up in a situation that can end badly and that in itself is taxing and unfair. For example, I loved riding motorcycles, for me it was what I considered a form of brain therapy. I was a part of clubs and going on trips with them regularly for years, but one of my true passions was to just climb on the bike and go on a road trip alone. Now, even though I don't have a bike right now it just wouldn't be the same because of not only my own fears for my safety, especially riding alone, but even stopping off at some little out of the way café or tourist spot while taking a car trip or a day drive can possibly lead to problems that one wouldn't ever consider or expect to have happen.
Simple everyday things like going out for a meal and yes even shopping can be a challenge in double thinking of where to go that will allow one to just relax and be themselves and to enjoy the moment. What very often winds up happening is that a transgendered person finds themselves going to a limited number of places that they know will accept them for the person that they are.
This is very often the case in the early stages of transition, but that circle expands with time, but the basic concern rarely goes completely away.
Fortunately, it's not all bad because sometimes just being different can lead to encounters that turn out to be really great experiences, it just depends on the folks that you do meet and how you approach the situation. Sure a part of that is also how accepting they are.
The point is, it is one thing to have concerns over race, ethnicity and gender, but even though as a person you are a part of those. it's not fair to have to worry about what may happen just because you are different. Mind you I have been very fortunate so far and not had any such incidents, but the concerns and considerations are still there just he same.
Many businesses are becoming more accepting, but it is only on the surface for some and that is primarily because they just want your money, but to the credit of the ones that have a strong social sense of fairness and a very good understanding of business are recognizing that there is a very strong market to be tapped into and they are reaping huge rewards by accepting the entire LGBT community into their businesses.
When it comes to traveling, especially across borders or even to other states can be tasking enough as a non-transgendered person. Add in being transgendered and then it becomes even a bigger issue because of the legalities that can be involved ,various laws, if any from locale to locale in the protections for Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender (LGBT) people. Identification is usually being the biggest issue along with safety. If a person is presenting as one gender, but their identification still shows as them as the opposite gender there can be problems depending on the locale, the laws, level of acceptance and understanding with the individuals involved. Again this seems to be more so the case in the early stages of transition, it is not only confusing for others, but frustrating and also very threatening because of the fear that it generates within the transitioning person.
Just dealing with non-acceptance issues that are usually based in misunderstanding and lack of knowing what a transgendered person really is and how to treat them as a person, or even outright discrimination can be so draining and in itself can take the enjoyment out any activity if not downright deadly, just look online and see how many news reports from around the world that come up on violence against transgenders so there is a long ways to go on this issue.
Fortunately just recently (Feb 2008) the International Assoication of Chiefs of Police (IACP) issued their updated Model Policy on Hate Crime, which now includes gender identity. The Model Policy helps police identify, investigate and respond to hate crimes – including those based on sexual orientation and gender identity. The IACP also issued a “Concepts and Issues Paper” on hate crimes. The Issues Paper contains background material and useful tools like crime scene procedures, appropriate response activities and prevention strategies that should really benefit our community. The Paper also contains a list of resource organizations that police can turn to for more information. This new policy and related Issues Paper are available not only to the 20,000+ members of the IACP, but to non-profit organizations for use in trainings on hate crimes issues.
So there is even progress on this front in our society, but as a transgender this is valuable information to have because in case of need, you can, if able relay this to an officer who may be struggling with how to treat you as a person.
Another one of her comments was, "My search for medical care would never lead me to Idaho. I do not believe that there is anything there in that state for me."
Why would she make such a comment given the fact that we live in a land of freedom and choice? That we can supposedly live wherever we choose. I think that it is probably based on an idea or maybe in the knowledge from experience that Idaho laws are not very clear on how to treat someone who is a transgender, couple that with the conservative nature of the state, she probably wouldn't feel safe there.
As a transgendered person I too would find myself not wanting to live in an environment that I would consider unfriendly towards me. Even medical treatment itself can be an exercise of frustration normally and given an emergency it can be downright deadly if the attitudes are those based in fears or a lack of understanding or if there is a lack in legal protections.
There are other issues besides the social aspects of life. We as human beings spend the largest majority of our lives in the work place. And this is the one area that has the 2nd largest impact on us, the first being our families.
In an article written by Keith Ecker entitled, "Out in the Office", it speaks about Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) workplace issues that employers grapple with. My focus here though is more about the transgendered part of the issue since I happen to be dealing with the work place issues as a transgender, even though my journey to this point took me through the path of being "gay".
One of the very first comments he made in the article is "Straight employees have a much easier, clearer path than gay employees.” and unfortunately in my own experiences though out my working life I've found it to be very true. I found that my past accomplishments seemed to dim in employers eyes after coming out as being gay and that is if I wasn't actually threatened or harassed in some way.
Very often transgendered people will "come out" at work or to friends as being gay or lesbian because it is as close as they can come to being their true selves before their transition and to still find an acceptance of sorts within society and the workplace. As in my case, being in denial that I was in fact a male to female transgender and yet having such strong attractions to men. Even though I knew at times that I felt like I was in the wrong body, I could only come out as being gay so I could at least hopefully have relationship with someone that I was attracted to and try to have a normal relationship with that person in which society would "somewhat" accept, along with being "somewhat" accepted at work "sometimes". Confusing isn't it? Try living with it going on in your head 24/7.
This causes a whole new set of unique problems not only for the transgendered person but for others too. It is very much living a double life not only to yourself, but with everyone that you deal with on a daily basis whether it is family, someone that you are in a relationship with and even your co-workers and up until the time that I "came out" to my employer about my transition I was very much living that double life. Outside of the work place I was able to be myself as a woman and even though there were limitations, at least I could be my true self most or at least some of the time. But, as soon as I got to work, I had to become just that "gay guy" and even then there were times that I wasn't taken as seriously as I had been in the past before "coming out" as being gay. Then there were the funny looks, lack of acceptance and hurtful comments that really don't change anything other than make me feel like I was less of a person. I'm sure many minorities and women can identify with what I'm saying here, because as a society we've all seen and heard of this before.
Of course the question begs being asked. Why haven't we learned yet? What is so wrong with people just being able to be themselves? Which really surprises me, because I have just been myself as much as possible and still many of my co-workers were surprised by the fact that I am transgendered?
But, then again, I'm not really that surprised, past history is a good teacher if you pay attention.
I still have to wonder why someone who would talk and joke or work with me before now almost avoids me unless they have to work or interact with me. It does challenge ones sense of acceptance and unfortunately it also causes you to distrust and lose some respect for that person that you had for them in the past. I think it is a part of my personality that can often look past that type of reaction or behavior and in a sense forgive, but not forget. This allows me to continue to interact with someone like that and not feel threatened by them. I've also found that after a short period of "adjustment" on their part that they come to realize that I'm not the threat that they had perceived and things kind of return to normal as before. But the damage has been done and you don't tend to forget the hurt or pain and the trust will never be quite the same.
I think the biggest lesson that I have learned to date is that if you are honest and be yourself, there is no reason to feel like you are out of line. If you don't carry that with you, you don't see it in other people. (All Rights Reserved)

Why? Why? Why?

Right up front I will say this is a rant to begin with, but it is also an explanation too.
The other morning, it was one of those mornings where absolutely nothing is going right for me. I think we all have those mornings that we think or feel like no matter what we do we wind up looking like the Joker from the new Dark Knight movie. The hair, which I really wish I had more of anyway and even the makeup takes on a life of their own. On top of that to add insult to injury the whole mess was not being able to be rid of what little stubble I have on my chin. Yes it still exists much to my dismay.
My electrolysis tech at Auburn Skin (Carol is wonderful) has requested that I not clear the area that we will work on for at least two days before my next appointment because what I do have is so light and it makes it easier for her to get the hairs completely. Unfortunately, in my case it is stiff and stands out, especially to me. If I put on makeup it glows like its neon which only makes it stand out even more. This morning not only do I have to deal with that but it seems like nothing else is going right either. My hair is fighting back, my clothes don't seem to fit right, even my bra is laughing at me and then I had to run a couple errands looking like the cat lady from the Simpsons and I see this absolutely stunning woman who has a figure that I would kill to have. The first thought that forces its way to the front of my mind when I saw her was, why me? Why couldn't I have been born like that? Curse genetics, curse fate, curse my parents, curse everything and everyone at the moment.
I think every Transgender regardless of which transition (M2F or F2M) feels the same way sometimes if not most of the time. Some are extremely lucky in that their transition is much smoother because of genetics, already looking very feminine, having a higher pitch to their voice naturally, but also being lucky enough to have started their transition much earlier point in their life, before so many of the masculine traits that we hate so much have set in.
I am noticing in my own transition that I am at a kind of a mixed bag of traits point and that is so very frustrating. My mind is telling me that I'm not a guy, but yet when I look in the mirror I still see some of those traits and it makes me wonder if I'll ever look more feminine.
Once I get dressed, do my makeup and hair, then I do look a bit more like what I feel, but I know that I'll never look like or sound like Halle Berry. Ok, reality check even natal women want to look like her and even she has days when she doesn't look like Halle Berry, but you understand what I mean.
I was reading a story written by a Transgendered woman that said, "I am who I am" and "I am the same person that I've always been" she says that those are cop-out statements. While she does say that as a transgender we aren't the same person that we were before we started is true, I think it is only true to a certain point, but I do not think that they are cop out statements, our personalities are rooted pretty deeply and regardless of our physical changes, our personality will change some but not completely because of who we are at the core of our being.
I have to say that in my case I am very much the same person at least personality wise in some ways and I've changed a great deal in other ways. I know that my sense of humor hasn't changed a lot and I still do consider it my best weapon, but I've also noticed that my level for compassion and acceptance of others has risen a great deal. I'm sure a part of that is also due to my own journey that I am taking, but it is still a huge change over the way I used to be.
Ok, back on topic, Sure I wish my voice was more of a higher feminine pitch, but I also recognize that it is not going to happen a great deal, although I've been told by a few that have known me for awhile that they have noticed that it has changed some since I started my transition, but anyway I try to not worry about it too much. On mornings like this even that can fail me and I then feel miserable and somewhat at a lost. I do know that it will not deter me from following through with my transition because being a woman is a core part of who I am as a person.
So, anyway, I went into the clinic for my hormone shot and surprisingly I felt a lot better an hour later. Hmmm, I wonder if the levels were down a little?
Another strange thing was that I'd lost 4 pounds since last week, which is good but weird because after a month of being sick and not being able to eat because of two different dental procedures I hadn't lost an ounce of weight. Anyway, my mood soon lifted and I was a much happier girl. I also had my appointment with Carol and she is such a sweetheart. Not only did she make me feel better with her words of encouragement, but she even treated me to an eyelash tint and extensions. My eyes look so much better. I just love modern technology, she puts them on one at a time and they do look natural when she's done. It’s a bit pricey for the initial set but it's not too bad for the maintenance if you want to keep them on. To me it is well worth it, because I feel that my eyes are on of my better assets and I figure it's really no different than getting my nails done every couple weeks.
By the time I got to work I was feeling a 100 times better about myself and the world in general. It really felt really good when my BFF Carrie noticed my eyes right off and complimented me on getting them done. That felt really good; thanks (HUGS) and this whole thing got me to thinking.
Just about every girl that I've ever met has had the experience of growing up with that female companionship of best friends that shared in doing everyday things like hair, makeup, clothes, etc. You know, the advantage of sharing everything with each other as best girlfriends tend to do. I know for myself that it is one of the things that I had always envied about girls when I was growing up and even to this day I still feel like that I've have missed out on so much. Just about every Transgender that I've talked to about this has agreed with me, they too felt like they had missed out.
I know that I would have accepted my being Trans much earlier and more than likely would have begun my transition much earlier in life. Who knows how far along I'd be by now. It's very easy to look back and feel regret and get down on myself over it. As if we probably don't have enough regret over our lives already, this is just one more thing to add on to the pile and that makes it easy to get depressed and not take any action all. This is one area I refuse to wade around in for very long anymore and because I don't tend to show or hang around with regret for long I get accused of not caring as if they have something to do with each other anyway. To me they are very different critters, they just sometimes fool you into thinking that they are the same.
One of the things that I have found that helps is to continuingly seek out positive people and along with working to maintain my self esteem which is also critical to being accepted by others.
I believe that people see the positive in others and respond to it. This important because then you get to respond in kind to them. With that comes acceptance as you learn more about that person and from there friendships are built. Like those that I was talking about.
To find a friend in someone like that makes it possible for a girl to occasionally immerse themselves in frivolity and trivia and emerge not only looking and feeling a thousand times better, but with a renewed confidence and strength. I believe, as in my own case, that is why we value such friendships so highly. It's not just the acceptance factor but the inclusion to the world that we missed out on when we were at that age when things started changing (puberty) and only got to watch from the sidelines with so much envy.
So to my BFF's, I love ya bunches, because you help me everyday become way that I should have been born. And to those, both the men and women that I know at work and other places, that treat me with acceptance, respect and recognize me as a girl or as a woman, thank you, thank you, thank you, you can't imagine how much it means to me.
It means everything to be acknowledged as the person you are, as someone special, even if it just something as simple as saying hello Stephanie or Stevie.
And that acknowledgement is strength that allows me to be who I am even more.
(All Rights Reserved)

I guess an introduction is in order

My name is Stephanie and this is my little blog page. The goal and hope here is to share just some common sense stuff from a transgenders point of view and just going through out the daily routine. Hopefully past on a few tips that help get me through the day and so on. Let me start by sharing with you where I am at today.
It is important to remember that people change just as life does and I guess you can say I am making a really big change. But this change has shown me a whole new path in life that I wasn't expecting, sure I knew things would be different but I never thought that it would be like this and I love it.
So I am enjoying a journey very few dare take, the freedom it is showing me is a wonderful new experience of discovery..Just as an example, I got carded one night and refused service because they thought I was trying to use some poor guys' id. By not getting bent out of shape over it and using some humor it turned out to be not only ok, but it was pretty funny too.
Another incident was just before I came out at work, I was leaving the men's room when this guy was going in and he stopped at the door, looked at me and then looked at the sign and then back at me with this really confused look on his face. I figured that was when it was time to come out. I guess in that incident literally.
I was reading a journal posting from a couple years ago just after I'd started my transition and just said to myself "I can't believe how much my life has changed for the better since then." I am now living full time as a woman. I know that my transition has hurt and confused some of those close to me and that they are having their issues with it, but even then they're being as supportive as can be expected and for that I am very grateful.
What is really surprising and really cool part is that I have had almost no backlash from my transition from society in general. I just live my life as any woman would and go about my daily life as normally as possible. I think that people see this and realize that we really aren't all that different than they are, so it somehow becomes "ok" or "so what" in their mind. I occasionally see the little smirk or chuckle on someone's face, but I don't let it bother me to much because I know what I am doing is outside of what most people understand and it is unique.
This is important to recognize, because it allows me to be myself just as we all should be able to be ourselves. But this is also an empowerment and it is what allows me to just go about my daily routines and business without freaking out about not passing or blending in, even though I have been told by many that at first they thought I was a natal woman but then realized that I wasn't and by then it didn't matter to them.
I've legally changed my name and I'm getting all of my other stuff changed over to reflect these changes of the woman that I am today.
My work place has also been just fantastic and very supportive about my transition. The company has a very strong diversity policy and with my "coming out" I'm being told that I will be included in many of the future diversity planning areas which I am very excited about being a part of.
Outside of work I've gotten very involved in the Trans community as being a fairly outspoken supporter for transgender rights and inclusion, but I'm not really a radical type of person and my more low keyed approach has seemed to open more doors on the subject when it comes to dealing with different organzations and poeple. This approach has even won an appeal over my medical benefits in which my provider has now covered some of my treatment and the company is now in the process of revisiting its medical coverage's for changing its medical benefits for us worker bee's to include transition coverage. The union that I belong to is on my target list over their inclusion policy and is one of my near future goals to work on. I am in the process of writing and almost done with a workshop program for helping organizations develop "workplace transition and inclusion" policies based on common sense and local and state laws.
There's a transgender conference called the Northwest Transgender Conference (see the listedlink) in the planning stages for my area of the country. I am trying to be as involved in that as possible given my work schedule and hopefully I will be invited to present my workshop there. Some of my co-workers have said that they would be very interested in reading more about this topic, so I am considering either a seperate blog page or just posting some of that related material here. So one of my goals on doing this blog is for it to be a source for people to learn more about Transgender issues instead of just seeing what little positive stuff that they do see in the media.
The reactions of my co-workers was what totally surprised me. Some of these folks I have known for over 10 years, to some it was a surprise, but to others it wasn't and almost all have been totally supportive and happy for me.
The really cool part about this is that I never realized just how many friends that I did have that really cared about me. All have said that with my coming out they have seen a much happier and complete person and that is so true because I am not leading a double life any more.
There are those that aren't as supportive or ok with this and they have their reasons. Whether they be family or otherwise, they're entitled to their opinions just like we all are.
I very often comment that Transgender issues are very much like politics and religion, everyone has an opinion about it and they are entitled to it. Just as I am entitled to mine.
The main difference is that this literally affects my life and I need to fix it. I know that I'm not saying anything new here because thousands of others have experienced the same emotions that I am, but, it sure feels good and even though it is a lot later in my life than I would like, it's still the greatest thing I've ever done.
So please feel free to leave a note with your thoughts, experiences or questions. I will answer questions either publicly here or if you'd rather have a answer privately please include an e-mail address and I will send the answer to you.
Who knows you just might wind up being a great topic in an article or presentation.
(All Rights Reserved)